At work today there’s a CPR training class. It filled before I could sign up, but that’s OK, because I already know all about CPR from watching movies. You clasp your hands together, slam them into the chest of the victim over and over, while yelling, “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMMIT!” That usually works, and if it doesn’t you throw your head back and scream, “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
Follow-up: Denro says…
SUCCESSFUL CPR: You keep saying “COME ON, COME ON, BREATHE, DAMN YOU!”, then the person coughs a few times, shakes their head and gets up. Then you say “You really scared me back there.” The person says, “Thanks, I owe you one. Now, let’s get those dirty devils!”