Author: DOuG pRATt

A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow

As a financial contributor to the Colbert Super PAC at the $50 level, I continue to be entitled to all sorts of special treats from Stephen, including this special message that I found in one of my very own e-mailboxes.

Dear Friends of Colbert Super PAC,

I know it’s been a while. I’m sorry I haven’t called, written, stopped by, or appeared naked astride a centaur in your dreams. On behalf of myself, Colbert Super PAC, and the centaur, I apologize.

But do not assume that Americans For A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow has been powerless. In fact, it’s quite the opposite: we’ve been unpowerless. For proof, please enjoy the first five seconds of this clip of Mitt Romney earlier today. Go ahead, I’ve already seen it, I’ll wait for you here in this email.

As you can see, as a contributor to Colbert Super PAC, your voice has clearly been heard, in the form of money. But as an American, you should also make your voice double-heard, in the form of a voice. So tomorrow, please find your nearest polling location and vote.

Remember: this is the most important election of our lifetime*, and will continue to be right up until the next most important election of our lifetime. So whoever you support, please vote. If you don’t, the federal authorities consider wearing an “I Voted” sticker as an act of counterfeiting.

Yours sincerelyish,

Stephen Colbert
President and Tallymaster
Americans For A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow

Super PAC contributors are also entitled to anonymity, but who the heck wants that? If I ever start writing detective stories I’m going to call my private eye Cole Yama.

Underwater on land, and seaside – the Bain connection

A few weeks ago I pointed out a real estate auction that’s coming up for a Cape Cod estate called Idlewild, valued at over ten million dollars. I said “I’d love to know what the story is behind this property. I assume that a fantastically rich person had a phenomenal fall,” but reportedly “This is not a distressed sale.” The story is at this link.

“This is not a distressed sale,” said Mark Troen, Sheldon’s chief operating officer. “There’s no mortgage on the property. An auction is another and very good way of selling real estate when the conventional means is unsuccessful… This is a lifestyle choice at this stage in their lives,” he said. “The couple is purchasing a home in Charleston, South Carolina”… The home will be sold furnished.

So who is selling this fabulous piece of real estate? James Feldt, the former president of marketing at Toys R Us. (They had more than one President in the company?)

James Feldt purchased the land for the estate in 2004 by for $1.55 million. Feldt, the former executive vice president of marketing at Toys R Us, and his wife, Rosanne, spent $9.5 million to build the four-bedroom, seven-bath home and another $1 million on landscaping, Troen said. “This is a lifestyle choice at this stage in their lives,” he said. “The couple is purchasing a home in Charleston, South Carolina.”

The Feldts spent over $10 million on the property and yet it has no mortgage. I can’t find any information on why or when Feldt left Toys R Us, but maybe it had something to do with the takeover of the company in 2005 by Bain Capital — yes, Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital. Here’s Feldt’s resume prior to his departure from Toys R Us.

James E. Feldt
President – Merchandising and Marketing, Toys”R”Us, U.S
James E. Feldt was named Executive Vice President and President of Merchandising and Marketing for Toys”R”Us, U.S. in March 2000. He is responsible for procurement, pricing, merchandising, promoting and presentation techniques to sell product at Toys”R”Us stores across the country. Mr. Feldt serves as a member of the Executive Committee for Toys”R”Us, Inc.

Prior to this appointment, Mr. Feldt served as Executive Vice President of Merchandising since 1999.

Mr. Feldt brings more than 20 years of retail experience to his post at Toys”R”Us U.S. Prior to joining the company, he was Executive Vice President, Merchandise and Marketing at Value City Department Stores in Columbus, OH. Prior to that, Mr. Feldt was Executive Vice President, Merchandising, Marketing, Allocation and Merchandise Distribution with Hills Department Stores in Canton, MA.

He also has extensive experience in merchandising toys, electronics, candy, sporting goods, wheel goods, seasonal and other hard line areas. In addition, he has considerable experience in apparel and the off-price industry.

Mr. Feldt graduated from Northeastern University with a degree in Business Administration.

What could Feldt have done that made him so valuable to Toys R Us, especially considering that when Bain took it over they were losing the merchandising and marketing war to Wal*Mart? It must have cost the Feldts another small fortune to furnish and decorate Idlewild, and yet it’s being sold furnished, so presumably the buyer will be getting a very big freebie thrown into the deal. The Feldts are merely making a “lifestyle choice?” It seems to me that they’ve vacated the premises and my guess is they need to get their money out of the place in order to buy or build their new home.

The final Republican argument for Romney

“Vote for Romney, because if Obama is re-elected we will continue to refuse cooperating with him and continue the legislative gridlock in Washington. Even if we don’t take control of the Senate, Democrats will accept defeat and go along with Romney like they did in Massachusetts.”

This summarizes some of what I’ve been hearing lately. The thing is, Democrats didn’t go along with Romney in Massachusetts, he went along with them. Back in September, 2011 I predicted that Romney would get the nomination and win tomorrow’s election. I’m hoping I was only half-right.

Mitt Romney will be the GOP Presidential candidate, and I’m betting he’ll win the White House.

Ziggy and Alfalfa in Paris

This is Sunday’s Ziggy from a week ago.

My father got a kick out of this, because Paris, Illinois is his hometown. Paris is a small town and he knew a kid his age named Carl Switzer, who was more commonly called Alfalfa. Carl was a real hell-raiser when he was older. My father said when they were hanging out as teenagers every other word out of Carl’s mouth was f–k, but he always had girls around him, so he was worth having as a friend. Later, my dad went in the Navy and he was sent to Japan as part of the occupation forces. Carl kept trying for parts in movies, and he had a notable bit in It’s a Wonderful Life. My dad says Carl’s death in 1959 was stupid and tragic, but not necessarily a surprise to anybody who knew him.

It was a dark and stormy night

Sandy is now supposedly no longer a hurricane, but we continue to get pounded here with wind-driven rain. On a night like this, I am reminded of the opening scene in The Bride of Frankenstein, where the weather howls outside while Percy Shelley and Lord Byron beg Percy’s wife Mary to tell more of her tragic monster’s tale…

http://youtu.be/dHjJTtPR1Is