He must have seen the fake webbing I had on the front porch for Halloween and wanted to show me how it’s really done.
Real Fake News
Colbert won the Powerball jackpot every bit as much as Trump won the 2020 election.
A AA Miracle!
I was going to post this last March, when the miracle ended. I’ll do it now before forgetting again.
For Christmas, way back in 1995, Santa delivered a Nordic Track machine. The classic low-tech design that simulates cross-country skiing. I don’t know if they’re even made anymore.
After becoming a dad I gave up running for a few years, to happily meet the demands of being a dad. When I wanted to start getting back into some sort of shape, Nordic Track seemed like the best the way to do that. The machine’s nifty exercise tracker required two AA batteries.
As was typical for Duracell at the time, the batteries were dated five years ahead.

That January, 2000 date was somewhat prophetic. Not because it was the millennium, but because at that time I was stuck face down in a vitrectomy chair, after the second surgery to repair the detached retina in my left eye. What’s a vitrectomy? Trust me, if you don’t need one, you’re better off not knowing.
After being allowed to get up from that blasted chair, my doctor wouldn’t let me run again until he was sure my eye had healed, which took a long time. I had his okay, however, to use the impact-free Nordic Track, and it felt wonderful. The ski machine was an essential part of my recovery.
I continue to use the Nordic Track to vary my exercise routine, and as therapy for my weak ankle. Last March, after more than 26 years, the original Duracell AA batteries were showing their age. The LCD display would work for a while but then turn itself off. So it was finally time to replace the batteries, and I was pleased to see they hadn’t leaked. Which newer Duracells seem to have more of a tendency to do.
Blood Type
“We were flying low, and hit something in the air.”
Dog Food
“She was a winner, that became the doggy’s dinner…”
Hanksy Halloween!
We didn’t get an end-of-summer show from the Back of the Station Wagon, but Tom Hanks is here now to DJ his way with a Happy Halloween special from Boss Radio 66!



